18 – The Frustrations Of Being The Phoenix.

Life

When it comes down to it, I have lived an extraordinary life.  Things just get crazier as time goes on. 

Curiously enough, though, few people take any notice when I say something. Most completely ignore me when I mention my experiences.

I can only assume that they don’t believe me, in spite of many others validating my experiences.  Regardless, I’m sure history will verify it.

I should also note that it’s not like I go around telling everyone I meet. These are people who claim to know about such things, or those who have asked for my aid, and I need to explain certain concepts.

I suppose one of the questions people would have in mind is: Why would someone like me experience such things?

Reasons

One reason is that I am The Phoenix Source.  That has been hammered into me for decades, as recounted in my autobiography, I am The Phoenix.  

Even if I choose to try and ignore it, or not believe it, it doesn’t work. (Believe me, I’ve tried.)

Nor does it stop others from coming after me; and by others I don’t mean the government or “men in black” type people.  

I’m talking about demonics and interdimensional beings who mostly target my friends.

Another reason is that it seems that I’ve upset the apple cart a few too many times. Certainly enough times to have bounties placed on my astral head.

Validation

I spent quite a few entries talking about Omen. Not because he is my sole source of information, but because he was important in validating who I was.

He did that in a way that no other person or being could. It was because of his unique state of being, and the fact Omen called a spade a spade, that I finally was able to accept who I was.

Not that other people have not done so for me. I have met a few who have confirmed my soul identity.

I’ve even met a couple of people who have observed me in The Astral levels. They not only told me who I was, but also described some of my defensive tactics, that I used, when I was under attack during my mind travels.

Considering they did not know me personally, and that I had never mentioned those to anyone at all; you might think that’s validation enough for me.

However, it wasn’t. It was never enough.

Every morning I would wake up, full of doubts. Omen told me, later, that this was a type of Psychic Attack, though he declined to tell me how it was done.

This is why I felt Omen was important enough to spend so many entries on.

And yes, I have had quite a few people dismiss me as not being trustworthy because I worked with a demonic. I also noted those same people were incredibly judgmental and loved their little dramas.

Though Omen will be mentioned from time to time, there is now enough background information to explain why he was so important to me.

What’s It Like?

Another question you may ask is: What’s it like to claim you’re The Phoenix Source?

It’s something I can’t prove, unless the person in question can sense my energy, see me astrally, or they’ve experienced what I do when I am healing them.

I can’t expect people to just take my word for it. There are a lot of claims out there about who someone is. Some are true, but many are bullshit and a few are there to mislead. There is no guarantee that I’m not one of those who is making it all up. 

Hence why I tell everyone: Don’t listen to what I say. Trust in what you feel about it.  And by your feelings, you will know.

Just a Myth

Yes, being Phoenix Energy is quite a claim.

The challenge for me, is to convey who I am, the work I do, to an audience who has never heard of such a thing.

Mythology states that The Phoenix is a bird that builds its own funeral pyre, spontaneously bursts into flames, burns to ashes, and from the ashes, a new Phoenix is born.

It also states that only one Phoenix ever existed at the same time.

Both facts are mostly hyperbole.

There are many who are of Phoenix energy. Also, while a phoenix can self-resurrect (as that is indeed one of its powers), the method described is something I have never come across, or experienced.

To many, I’m just a myth. Something that does not exist. And those I associate with, also can’t possibly exist. At least according to many who have commented on my writings.

But we do.

One day, this world may be grateful we are still around.