The Death Wish
One morning, sometime in the year 2000, when I woke up after a night’s sleep and heard my Guides ask me a question: Do you still wish to leave?
The question caught me by surprise. For years, I had repeatedly stated, mostly due to my depression, pain, and Dark Night of the Soul, that I did not want to be here.
While I wasn’t contemplating suicide; I certainly was in a rush to get my life over, and in doing so, could move on to other things.
Of course, I did not know then what I know now. While I can’t say that I enjoy being part of this insane world; I do plan to stick around, as long as I can, to consolidate all the work and achievements I’ve managed to somehow accomplish.
When my Guides asked me that question, I thought for a moment. By this point, I was now married, and life had improved on many levels. But I still was depressed for the most part, had no idea why, and was not able to receive the emotional support that was needed.
But the answer was: No, I don’t. I want to continue on.
Upon replying, I had a sense that the energy I had built up for wanting to leave had to be reversed or displaced somehow.
It was soon after that I met Caroline.
I believe the reasons for meeting her occurred, because I had changed my mind.
But I did not understand that at the time, and as a result, I went into a state of shock and depression. I could not comprehend what had happened, but in my heart, I knew that somehow, I was meant to die.
Still, here I was.
New Timelines
My marriage was never the same either. I was married to a Narcissist who was extremely self-indulgent when it came to having a good time. Despite the fact she earned three times more than what I did, I found that I was becoming more and more in debt.
When she finally announced she wanted a separation, a great part of me rejoiced. It was time to move on anyway. I had important work to do. I know now that she would have not only held me back, but would have actively discouraged me. A thing she had already done many times.
In 2005 she moved out, and I never looked back.
The Persistent Memory
For years, though, I kept on having this image of a music store I used to frequent (called JB Hi Fi in Camberwell, Victoria). It would often and randomly come to my mind, though I had no clue why.
I had been there hundreds of times over the years, but now, this one moment in time was sticking in my mind, and I wasn’t even sure if that moment even happened.
Eventually, around 11 years later, my Guides gave me some insight into what was going on.
I think it was July 20th, 2000. That was the day I died. That moment remained in my mind’s eye and memory for years, even though it didn’t happen. But according to my Guides, it did.
What I kept on seeing was the memory of me having a stroke. In the Original timeline, I had slept with Caroline. However, when I returned, my wife had made me feel guilty for doing what she had asked, it had caused an aneurysm that led to my death.
It happened while I was out that night with the family at JB Hi-Fi. I collapsed outside the store, and did not recover.
Because of my choice to stay here, though, I shifted timelines to an earlier time and was able to make different choices to continue on.
I’m now aware that such things happen to us all the time, we just don’t remember it happening or if we do, they are in visions like that one I described.
Past Its “Use-By” Date
There have been several other times in my life where I have died that I’m aware of.
Every so often, a nexus point (a point where choices are made) would arise where I would die, and then would decide to return because I had other things I could do here.
If you’re really fed up with things, you can call forth what is called an exit point and leave that way.
I really should have left a long time ago. I’ve been told that no one expected me to get this far.
According to a few people, my body is well past its use-by date.
Renewing
Omen once made a comment about me to someone that I found interesting.
He also has seals that are keeping 80% of him on alternative layers of existence. You know what a fuck up it’d be if an archetype dumped their whole being in the physical existence. Unless he holds onto something and refuses to, then he just keeps that bit and renews the rest like no one will notice. It’s ridiculous really. He does it every second.
You know how humans renew themselves roughly every 8 years to a decade or a decade and a half?
He can renew himself whenever he pleases. He’s The Phoenix Source.
I know Omen did a lot of research on me to find out who I was, so I find that his comments are very curious. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions for now.
Back To Hanging Rock
As a matter of clarification, the road changing incident at Hanging Rock was apparently not a death, but a place where realities are blurred. If you are attuned, you can slip between them to a similar but slightly different one.
I do remember thinking on more than one occasion, upon returning from that area, that something felt different or new.
For this reason, I do not fear death. In fact, I have never feared it, but once I started to understand that I could return to any point I wished, and in better health than when I left, I know that I will be here until such times as I’m satisfied that my work is done.