Category: the phoenix

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48 – Lilian, The Spirit Baby

Picture by: Stefan Keller 
https://pixabay.com/en/users/kellepics-4893063/

Reality Check

At times, I wonder just how real any of this stuff is. Can so many people seeing the same thing independently still be a coincidence?

I ask myself these questions from time to time, because I never want to succumb to delusions of grandeur.  I need to do the odd reality check, even though you could argue that this is hardly what anyone would call reality.

But it doesn’t matter if I ignore it or not.  Too many others will find me and shatter that illusion.

This is especially true for all the names that have come up in my life. Many of them are major mythological figures.

To my mind, the mention of such names is like name dropping. Yet here we are.

Lilian

As mentioned, Lilith keeps on coming up. I believe I’ve met several of her Avatars, none of them particularly nice.

And in one case involving her, there was something that disturbed me greatly.

In 2010, I met someone who became my partner and friend for seven years until we both felt it was time for us to go our separate ways. Her name was Dori.  She was an amazing person and still is, but life takes us in different directions.

Soon after we met, she was contacted by a spirit who claimed she wanted to be born to both her and me. This spirit called herself Lilian. And while she spoke to my partner, I never heard her. The reason I was given was that I wasn’t ready to hear.

Personally, I call bullshit on that reason. I believe she avoided me because I would have been able to identify her energies.

Incarnated Dakini

Now I had come across this before with my ex-wife back in the year 2000. Only we both felt it was a boy spirit. 

I was suspicious of not being able to sense Lilian, but Dori was quite adamant that this was something that needed to happen for me to move up to my next level.

Dori was an incarnated Dakini, who were the high-level Angels who had agreed to be my Guides in exchange for my Phoenix Energy.  I understood that this baby was meant to be conceived with both Phoenix and Dakini energy. My partner knew and understood this, too.

She told me that Lilian was an ancient spirit who was ready to move to the next level of evolution and wanted to be born to us, so we could help guide and teach her how to use her powers. 

While this made a logical sense, it just didn’t scan for me.

Still, I had agreements to fulfil, and I always fulfil my agreements.

Miscarriages

One thing about Dori was that she was an amazing planner. She had the dates and times down to the minute as to when we should conceive and in 2012 we tried.  The first time ended up in a quick miscarriage.

Then twice more she conceived, and twice, at six weeks, she miscarried. While it was upsetting for us both, I also felt a strange sense of relief; like I had dodged a bullet. From the beginning, I felt a sense of anxiety about the whole thing. After the second time, we stopped trying because the timing was wrong, and I felt that whatever brought us together for this was starting to fade.

USA

At the end of 2015, I moved to the USA with Dori, for a time.  Mari (who was the avatar of Seth), happened to arrive at the same time to visit her family.

In January 2016, Mari’s father died, and her husband came down for the funeral. He was an unassuming man who had way more to him than met the eye. His perceptions, knowledge, and insights often blew me away.

After the funeral, the three of us went out for dinner and as we were talking about things, he would make these deep and insightful comments, almost as though he was channeling.

I mentioned the miscarriages, and that the spirit’s name was Lilian.

Lilith

He said: “You know that was Lilith. She gave the energy and took it back“. Apparently, he meant that my Phoenix energy and Dori’s Dakini energy, was taken by Lilith.

It seemed that Dori had allowed Lilian to add her own energy during conception. She used that to gather up our energy and take it for herself.

“Well, I’ll just take it back,” I said.

He told me, though, that this energy had already been used by her.

Mari had been under a massive psychic attack the previous year.  It was so strong that I didn’t think she would survive it as they tried to rip layers from her soul. Fortunately, she was strong enough to withstand it.

I have no doubt the stolen energy was used to do that.

Mari’s husband wasn’t someone who had been involved with any of the things I did. I believe he did channel that information.

Confirmation

I had long wondered if Lilian was indeed Lilith, but I kept that thought to myself. He confirmed it.

I mentioned this to Dori, who, frustratingly, dismissed this out of hand, saying that this was just a distraction to what I should be doing.

While there was truth in that, it didn’t change the fact that Lilith was involved and, once again, messing with my life.

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46 – About Lilith and Cain

Lilith:  Freeing A Succubus

Here, I go into some speculation. What I write about Lilith and Cain is what I’ve pieced together, so far.

Lilith has been coming up in my life for decades.  I’ve come across several of her Avatars. (I guess that’s the Law of Attraction.)  During one of my earliest Mind Travels, at the age of 12, I found myself in what looked like the inner chamber of a pyramid.

Eventually, I came across a sarcophagus and opened it.  A Spirit fled the moment I did. It had clearly been imprisoned.

(It was only around 2016, that I fully understood that inner pyramid chambers were used to trap Souls and confine them.)

I followed this Spirit and saw it was a woman, who I later worked out to be Lilith.

Lilith was beautiful and she knew it. She used glamour to make herself alluring to the unwary.  At the time, I had no clue what glamour was; only that Lilith was using it.

Every night, I returned to my Mind Travels and observed her.  I noticed that she used her beauty as a lure to control and manipulate others.  I did not hide the fact it was me who had freed her.  It was because of this Lilith took an interest in me.  At first, despite that I believed it was all imaginary, I was flattered.

However, as I saw how Lilith had mastered seduction, I decided it was better not to get involved, and left.

The fact that Lilith was free seemed important to me.   Inasmuch, when I allowed the Astral Assassins to succeed in killing me to shift timelines, one of the first things I did was go back and ensure that Lilith was free again.

This time, I chose not to let her know it was me who had freed her. She then completely dismissed me when I was in her presence.

This was one of those Mind Travels that remained vivid in my mind, and occasionally, my thoughts would return to it.

Supernatural

Decades later, in 2006, my attention was drawn to the name Lilith.  I happened to see an episode of the show “Supernatural,” where the character of Lilith first appeared.  I found that the name fully resonated with me. I felt compelled to look into it, though I did not know where to begin.

I had no doubt I had heard the name before.  I somehow knew that she was the one I freed from her prison, when I was younger.  I felt it was important that I find out who Lilith was and how she fitted in.  I spent years, on and off, doggedly pursuing this path.

Since then, Lilith has come up more times than I can remember, especially with regards to Omen. 

Omen told me that Lilith had appeared to him, and claimed to be his mother. He then raped her.

Why he did that, I cannot say. Ecclasia claimed that it was an event that was hard to ignore if you were in the astral at the time. But that was typical Omen.  He was a demonic, after all.

He also told me that Lilith was the Hindu goddess, Ishtar.

In addition, Scriptures also stated that Lilith was the first wife of Adam, which raised all kinds of interesting questions.

Cain

I always dismissed the story of Adam, Eve and the Garden of Eden.  However, I will admit it got my attention when Omen casually mentioned that Cain was an Incubus.

He was talking about someone else, then said:

Omen:     He’s one of Cain’s kids. So incubus, but doesn’t work for Baal that I know of, but he seems familiar, so yeh probably works for Baal… ehhhh

Gary:     Who is Cain? Not the biblical one?

Omen:     Never met him, apparently he was the “first serpent,” or whatever. What happens when Fae and demons do the dirty, from what I can tell.  He’s Baal’s superior, but no one’s seen him in a while that I can tell… Baal runs the incubus trade, used to support the Legion but now he’s off with the Triquerta.  He supplies all the bodies and feeds them [denoting Triquetra’s agents].  I worked for him for a short stint…..it didn’t work out.  I got fired.

The Great Masquerade

This piece of information fascinated me.  About a year prior, I had several sessions with a role-playing game called:   Vampire: The Great Masquerade.

The Game Master, a man called Jeffrey, gave us a quick bit of history. He said that Cain was the First Vampire and went on to say that no one had seen him in a long time.

The twenty-year-old girl’s body that Omen possessed, had never touched a game, online or off.  Otherwise, I would have believed it was someone spouting off game lore.

More importantly, this also meant the Designers of the game knew what they were doing.  Many real-life facts are found hidden in plain sight.

In any case, the fact that Cain existed meant that Adam and Eve did, too. From this, Omen made a broad implication that, if Cain was indeed the son of Adam and Eve, that would mean that Adam would have been a demon and Eve, a Fae.

Cain was one of those Beings I never expected to come across in this life. But in 2018, someone contacted me who claimed to be him. He seemed genuine, and all his stories checked out. At some point, I hope to give his side of the story about what really happened with Cain and Abel.

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43 – The Stolen Gem

This experience is also recounted in my book ‘I am The Phoenix’ though I have attempted to expand on it in the context of other entries.

Guardian Of The Gem

Back in 2006, I finally started to understand my Mind Travels were real on some level. That is to say, while I believed that they had some kind of validity to them, I never really imagined that they interacted with everything that was going on. 

I viewed them as something that was individual, self-contained, and had no bearing on anything else.  So, I was less meticulous about certain important things while on those journeys.

During one of my Mind Travels, I found myself taking one of the gems from the Gem Station.  It was a red one, and I used it to prove my identity to someone, somewhere. 

With most of my Mind Travel adventures, I can’t recall them as well as I would like to.  I just know that for whatever reason, I did this and it allowed me passage to somewhere.

Then I forgot to put it back, or rather, I simply moved on without thinking through any crucial details on what I should have done with the gem.

Hence, it was not put back correctly and was left vulnerable. Now, I don’t know if this oversight had anything to do with what happened next, but the synchronicity is hard to ignore.

Psychic Alert

One day, during work, I got a Psychic Alert that someone had broken into the location where the Gems were kept and was attempting to steal one. 

The Astral World doesn’t really care where you are when an important matter is at hand.  It would drive me crazy because I would have to split my attention and 70% of the time I was at work when serious issues came up.

I can mind travel at any time, regardless of what I am doing.  I checked and saw someone was indeed there. Normally, I would have simply ejected them, but something held me back.  Instead, I opted to wait and see what would happen.

At work, at any given moment, I was doing the job of 3 people and I almost immediately forgot about the incident.

Caz

Then, a few weeks later, a lady whom I had a strong connection with, messaged me.  We had met in the long gone Celestine Vision chat room. Her name was Caz (I later found out she was a minor NUT Avatar).

Caz was an interesting person. She held a lot of memories about both of us from the past.  Caz once told me of a dream she had many years before we met. She recounted it as such:

     This was also the time I had the dream about a man named “Gary,” and my hair becoming Phoenix hair…

    We have some friends here in town, a couple, and the husband’s name in this couple is Gary.  He’s a sweet guy, Jewish, and TOTALLY not psychic!  lol ~ ~ But, “Gary” in the dream looked exactly like him!  Except….in this dream, I was so attracted to him, and it made no sense at all… and I could feel that while it was Gary—-that this man was NOT “Gary”!!!  If you see what I mean. 

     In this dream, he and I were moving from room to room of a house, trying to get in a few words alone without all these other people barging in.  I remember that some of these rooms were very very odd—they were lined with little tiles, like a locker room, and had what looked to be shower heads in them—perhaps like a large high school gym shower room. 

The Kiss

     Gary kissed me and when he did—it felt like our souls merged together.  I burst into tears then, feeling guilty and said, “what are we going to DO??”  Gary just laughed and said “It’ll be okay.  Don’t worry about it.”  Then, I walked away from him and looked into a mirror.  In this image I saw myself with hair that was all wisps, like feathers—and the color was a flaming orange-red…and I knew that this was my “Phoenix hair”. 

     That’s when I woke.  I thought about the dream, thought about our friend Gary—to examine if I had some kind of repressed “feelings” for him, and utterly dismissed it!  It was just too silly!  But still…that was a damn good kiss in that dream…lol!

It is also worth noting that my colours are red and orange so this dream is an interesting confirmation.

I was online one night soon after the gem Mind Travel, when she sent me an instant message:     “Gary!  If you’re there… we need to be together… right NOW.  I came online to find you.  I was sleeping… and all the energies and messages have coalesced. I got back the thing stolen from you.  It’s red….a red jewel.  I got it back from David earlier today. It is YOURS.”

The Druids

Now, David was a Druid, who was also someone who had relentlessly attacked me over the years and probably came as close as anyone could to getting rid of me. As far as beings go, he is a nasty piece of work. So much so, that he was one of the few people I ended up banning from my chat room to keep others safe.

I found out he was a Druid when a friend of his let that piece of information innocently slip.

Normally, it would mean nothing to anyone, but as my Guides had just given me a history lesson on what the Druids did and who they were, it instantly got my attention.

According to Omen, the Druids had been contracted by the god Apep to have me taken out.

Apep was known as the god of chaos (or one of them) and was traditionally known to be the nemesis of RA. However, he spent most of his time trying to get rid of me.

The Hit

Apep owed The Triquerta for something and they had demanded that he take care of me.  So, he contracted the Druids, and they have been nothing but trouble ever since.

It appeared that David had been the one who I had been alerted to and he had indeed stolen the gem I had not put back properly.

Caz had approached him directly online and demanded he return the gem. He played dumb (though he was anything but dumb… his hapless persona was how he drew people in) and denied knowing what she was talking about. So, she just took it from him and then came to me and gave it back.

As I never spoke to anyone about the gems and I never mentioned my Mind Travels, this was another strong validity that those trips were real.

As to what David wanted with the gem, I do not know. This particular one controlled timelines.

However, I can hazard a guess, as the timelines have been messed with over the past decade or so.  I strongly suspect that it’s part of what has been causing The Mandela Effect.

I’ve also been told that timelines are collapsing.

What I will do about it, I have yet to decide.