26 – The Mandela Effect – Death and Shifting

Death Timelines

I’ve lived a life that few would believe. I never seem to stop coming up with experiences that seem too good to be real. Still, my life is full of them.  In this entry, I’ll discuss details of my experience with a Death Timeline.

For instance, there’s an incident that happened back in the year 2000 that left a profound mark on me.

I I died. Literally.

Yes, you read that right.  I actually died.

It was from a stroke, and I did not survive it.

You’re probably thinking:    Well, if you’re dead; you’re certainly pretty active.

But obviously, I am not dead.  I am very much still alive.

So, what happened?

The first half of the year 2000 was a traumatic and stressful time for me.  Several events were happening, and I wasn’t handling them well.

Great stressors were in my personal and work life; and I had just completed one of my major goals on my life path. (Reconciling with the Egyptian god Seth, as recounted in I am The Phoenix.)

My then wife (I am now divorced) and I, noticed that omens of death were everywhere for me.  It was on my mind all the time, I sensed things were nearing an end.  Then my wife kept on getting signs of a husband dying, which she remarked on.

One week, around July, she fell into a deep depression and entered a state of grieving which I found both disturbing and confusing.

I wondered if I had done something wrong, and my step-daughter began to act as though I wasn’t there anymore.  I could not work out what was happening, and neither could my wife.

Worst Period Of My Life

After a week or so, she sat me down and said that she had worked out what was going on. Her reactions were as though I had already died; and she was going through the stages of loss and grief.

She said that whatever was going to happen, it was going to happen the next day. We could either ignore it or we could work out a solution.

We sat down and tapped into what was going on and what was going on was complicated.

My wife had put me into a situation with a lady friend where there was no good outcome.

Basically, she wanted me to sleep with her (yes, you read that right) and manipulated things so I would do so, and then laid a guilt trip on me for wanting to.

If I said no, she made it out that I still wanted this friend but was doing it for her.  She then made me feel guilty about that, too.

I could not win no matter what I did.

It was one of the worst periods of my life.  I didn’t know which way to jump.

She was a totally messed up Narcissist who was convinced of her own saintliness. That’s one of the main reasons we eventually broke up.

The Details: 

If that sounds convoluted, I’ll try and summarize how it all came about.

My wife often spoke at length about having an open marriage. I had no issues with this because it’s a terrible burden for one person to fulfill the needs of another for their entire life.

She was interested in experimenting with some friends of ours, so I told her to go ahead and gave her my blessings.  I’m sure that will shock people, but for me, it’s where the heart is and not the body that is important.

A few months later, I was in the (now defunct) Celestine Vision Chat room when a lady called Caroline came in.  I noticed she was in the same city as me, and as it turned out, was a ten minute drive to her home.

Even back then, I was gaining a reputation for being someone people want to know; so she kept on pushing for us to meet.

I did not have the best feeling about doing this, and as with all things at the time, I mentioned it to my wife.

To my surprise, she not only said to go ahead, but insisted on it. Some part of me felt anxious, like a lamb to the slaughter, but she dismissed that.

Crazy Sexual Energy

We met up soon after, and I immediately felt this crazy energy connection of the likes I had not felt before. She felt it too, and it was intoxicating.

While nothing happened; my wife, who was energetically connected to me, felt it.

She, herself, also had a similar experience, with the sexual energy connection, with someone else, before we married. She would go on about it and expect me to understand. But I didn’t understand at the time. (But I do now.)

When I got home, I told her about it and expected her to be excited.  However, she seemed the opposite.

Double Standard

Personally, that seemed like a double standard.  I had happily allowed her to indulge herself when she wanted to experience the same thing. She acted like it was her right and I assumed she would want the same experiences for me.

She didn’t. I don’t know what was going through her twisted mind, but she insisted that I keep on seeing Caroline.

I wanted to keep everything open and discuss what was going to happen with all parties involved.

I did that and we would discuss on instant messenger where things were going, and what we all wanted to happen.

The ultimate goal, it seemed, was for me to sleep with her.  Why my wife was so hell-bent on me doing that, I don’t know.  Regardless, she put me into a no-win situation.

Past Siblings?

As a side note, someone in the chat room told Caroline that in a past life, we were brother and sister. And she certainly seemed to have past life memories of us.

I am not sure if we ever were siblings, but at some point, many years later, I recognized her energies. She was a Lilith avatar.

She certainly wasn’t the first such avatar I had come across. Each time I met one, I would feel that crazy energetic pull.

At first, I thought it was NUT (pronounced “noot”, who is my other soul half) But NUT and Lilith have very similar looks and energies. I am sure they are connected, though, I have yet to determine in what way.

In any case, Caroline being with me brought up memories for her and some unexpected reactions. Once she beat her hands on my chest, saying that she felt some past memory come up. Then she dismissed it.

I don’t know what my history is with Lilith, but whatever it may be, she seems to hate and love me in equal measures. She always ends up acting crazy around me and I find I have an almost irresistible draw to her.

Back to the story.

Energy Flow

The energy flow between Caroline and me was intense. It was hard to not indulge, being coerced into being with her.

I feel I was being set up for failure. It’s like putting a kid into a chocolate shop, telling them to eat what they want, only to admonish them for it later.

Things continued with us for a few weeks where we would meet and exchange energies. While this was sexual in itself, nothing sexual had actually happened. My wife kept on giving me advice on what to do.

She was constantly pointing out how to manipulate the situation and gain control. She was good at it, and I would even say an expert. I learned quite a few things from her.

Simultaneously, she was still laying the guilt trip on me and putting me through absolute hell.

Seeing The Outcome

Then one day, Caroline said that she had waited long enough.  She wanted to sleep with me, so naturally I told my wife.

It was the beginning of that week she started to grieve.  At first, I thought it was because of my intention; but soon it became apparent that more was going on.

We worked out that the day I was meant to meet up with Caroline, was also the day I was going to die.

We decided it was best for me not to go, after all. I rang up Caroline and let her know.

I wasn’t sure what difference it would make, but I clearly did not want to die. 

I stayed home, and that evening became very weird.  My wife was in a very strange frame of mind.  She kept on muttering how she had put so much effort into this marriage, and now it was all for nothing.  The next day, she claimed she had no recollection of having said anything like that. I never saw Caroline again.  My reasons to her must have sounded totally lame. But what could I say?

Next entry: Exploring how I died.