Nephthys Speaks About Seth
To me, Seth has always been a subject of interest. I know he was around me from the very start of this life. Both as antagonist and protector.
There was a time in the 80s when just thinking of the name gave me a very uncomfortable feeling, though I did not know why. But that story is recounted in “I am The Phoenix”.
What follows are Nephthys’ thoughts on Seth.
Childhood
Growing up, my grandparents were my life. Never in my life did I ever love so much, and so hard. I spent weekends with them. In return, I had to go to Church on Sundays. Fine by me. I remember hearing about Seth, and what he was about. The bible called him the devil. He was a bad person, and would harm us, but as long as we served their God, he couldn’t hurt us.
Now I wasn’t really into what the Church had to say, but the stories of Seth made me feel uneasy. And it seemed like every Sunday I went to Church, they were always preaching about how bad the devil was, and how God is the only one to save you from him.
The Devil
As a teenager, I feared the devil. No, I didn’t pray, but I felt like I had been found. Like I was/ had been in hiding. I felt like the Church singled me out. Bad things would happen to me. I knew it was the “Devil” doing it.
I remember at one time, saying “wow, I must be special for the Devil to attack me so much”. As my life seemed to get darker, the attacks got stronger.
I was married to an Apep Avatar, who was taking my power away from me, and I was getting attacked by something I couldn’t see.
Computer Game
One day my husband brought me home this computer game that had to do with Gods, and Goddesses of Egypt. I played the game, and fell in love with ISIS, and Osiris.
I wished I was ISIS. I would feel this pull from inside me telling me to love this game, and to play it as much as I could. I remember hating Nephthys, and Seth. At the time, I didn’t know that this Egyptian computer game was the key that activated the love spell/curse ISIS put on me.
At one point, my husband was hurting physically. His lower back was giving him problems. After months of hearing him cry like a baby, I was done. I wanted his pain to go away. I tried everything. The one thing that came to my mind was to offer my soul to the devil. The devil who had been attacking me.
The Bargain
The one I feared the most: Seth. That night as my husband, and I were walking to bed, I stated in my head, Seth, my soul is yours to keep, if you make my husband’s pain go away. The next day, I woke up to my husband all happy being pain free. At that moment, my heart sank. The devil had taken me up on my offer. At that point I said I was going to live life.
I was going to see as much beauty this world had to offer before leaving it, because my soul was going to burn in hell. Needless to say, that didn’t happen.
As the days went by, my life became darker, and darker. I would try to find ways out. The attacks on me were stronger, and stronger. At one point I broke. I told the devil enough was enough. He had my soul already, so leave me alone, stop attacking me.
Soul Searching
As life became so dark, I became powerless. I didn’t care if my soul was going to hell to burn, I wanted out of this place.
For me earth is a hell all on its own. The attempts to leave never worked. Forces I couldn’t see fought against me, leaving me here on earth. I even got to the point of hating the Devil.
As I grew older, things started happening. I started doing some soul searching. That’s when I found my soul father. And through him, I met my brother. At first, I didn’t have a good feeling about meeting him. I felt like he didn’t care much for me. But I really didn’t feel all that great about him. I didn’t know why, but something felt off.
Confusion
When I found out the name of my brother, I felt confused. Why did he attack me all those times, all those years? I was already having a bad time at life, why make it harder. Why attack me?
Those questions were answered. He attacked me, because of who I am, and that was suppose to take place, to help me wake up. My brother hated me, and he had very good reasons to.
When things started going bad in Egypt, he felt like I turned on him. Others had already turned on him, making him look like the bad guy, when really, they were the bad guys. Power hungry gods, and goddesses.
I focused on this feeling of not liking Seth very much, and wanted to know why, so I asked to feel my emotions that were attached to him. I didn’t hate him for all the bad things he done to me to help me wake up. I was angry at him for leaving me behind. I blamed him for not getting me away from ISIS. I was upset because I told him the truth about the ISIS, and Osiris thing.
Part of the Problem
Out of all, Seth should have known I was telling the truth, but he walked away, telling me I got myself into this mess, I can get myself out. What I done probably added fuel to the fire, but Seth’s anger didn’t come from what I did, it was something else. Something I really didn’t know about, because of what ISIS had me going through.
I felt so ashamed for spending so much energy on hating him for something he didn’t do. He might have left me behind, but I had created a mess for myself. A mess I didn’t want no part of, but became a part of, nonetheless.
Once you became a part of the problem, you couldn’t get out. ISIS wouldn’t let you.
Do I still fear Seth? No, I do not. Do I forgive him for leaving me behind? Not really. As for now I see he had nothing to do with it. My choices made me stay behind. I regret holding anger towards him, for blaming him. The real question is… Does Seth hold anything against me for blaming him for my mistakes?
My Thoughts on Deals
Making any kind of deal with Lucifer (The Devil) or Seth (Satan) is not really a wise idea, no matter what your reasons. It’s short term gains for long term pains, assuming you are able to survive the consequences.
Many do it, and pay the price.
In this case, Nephthys got lucky. The deal she made was dissolved upon my request. I just happened to be in a position where I was able to do that.