Dark Night of The Soul
This series of blogs is aimed at creating a new Belief System. This entry looks at the Dark Night of the Soul, and how it ties into things. We also look at how to write down your current system of beliefs.
Do you need to do this?
So far, we have discussed what a Belief System is, why it’s important and some ground rules to ensure a new one does not create unintended consequences.
But how do you go about creating a new one?
The first thing you should decide is, do you need to do this? If you are happy with your life, warts and all, then the answer is most likely, “No.”
Though life might be traumatic, hard and painful at times, there are many who are happy with their status quo. If you are one of these people, then you may not wish to change a thing.
However, if you were once like I was, and you are frustrated with your life and nothing seems to work, no matter what you try, then this entry is for you.
Painful State of Mind
A sure sign, that one needs to revise their personal Belief System, is you are going through a Dark Night of the Soul.
This is a painful state of mind where you feel you have tried everything you can think of, but nothing is working. Every plan has failed and there is only a painful, eternal now. You feel like you are at the end of your road and nothing is going to change.
This is one of the most painful types of depression.
What causes this terrible state of mind is holding on to a Belief System that no longer works for us. Maybe it never worked, or perhaps at some point it did, but that time is long past, and try what you might, things just don’t seem to fix themselves.
This could be a marriage, job, career choice or anything you believe you must have in your life.
It’s not uncommon for such things to be based on other people’s expectations of you. All too often, we let others define not only who we are, but how we should be living our lives.
It might even be that dream that you believe will make you happy; only to find that, even once you’ve achieved it, you still feel empty inside.
A Dark Night of The Soul can be brought about by attachment and desire to something that you do not and may not have. Such desire can create incredible anxiety, as one may feel there is a clock ticking, and every day, month and year that passes, takes them further from the likelihood of success.
Detrimental
For me, it was the realization that, at age 30, no matter what I tried, everything would always fail.
I entered into a Dark Night of the Soul state and it was incredibly painful.
Now, to be fair, this was partly due to my base rules I had put into place about long term goals over short term ones and not allowing myself to manifest things that would be detrimental to me.
However, curiously enough, even though I had shown a remarkable proficiency for manifesting things, I also did not believe that I would be looked after by The Universe.
I had read about it, but always felt it was “too good to be true” and always wondered if such things really worked. I felt that this was something that happened only to others, not me.
Every time I seemed to be making headway, it all fell apart.
I could not take the emotional pain anymore.
Then, thanks to Synchronicity, the information I needed came at the right time into my hands. It was the right time because I had had enough, and I was now fully open to trying anything new, even if it seemed improbable.
Three Basic Things
The steps I took were simple, but effective.
There are three basic things you can do. We will explore the first now and the other steps next entry.
Step 1
Write down your current Belief System, warts and all.
Be honest with yourself. I found it helps if you are so angry that you write it as a vent to God (or Source or The Universe. It doesn’t matter who the target is, as long as you’re doing this.)
Write down all the positives and negatives.
For me, it went along the lines of:
The Bad
- I believe I will never really succeed, no matter how hard I try.
- I am destined to be alone and will always fail with women.
- People will always try to take advantage of me and let me down.
- They will always betray you at some point.
- Life will always be full of drama and strife.
- Life will always be a bitch and you can’t fight it.
- I believe I can’t change my reality.
The Good
I believe that:
- I will always have enough money to do what is needed.
- Ultimately, I will succeed.
- I can make a difference to this world.
- Everything has its purpose and timing.
Now, it was that last belief that ultimately held me back. This was a deep belief that had been instilled into me from my teenage years.
When things did not work out, I would always default to that being the reason as to why. And while it was the cause, it also wasn’t.
Main Causes
The real reason was that I refused to listen to my intuition when it warned me that things were not going to work out. I was also generally negative about life, though I refused to admit that. Part of me wanted to be this sole being, fighting against an uncaring, unfeeling world, that did not and could not understand what I was going through.
Part of me relished in the victimhood and the martyrdom. I wanted to be that person who had tried it all, but had ultimately proven all the Masters wrong by showing that nothing worked.
That was the deep-seated reality for me. The core belief. And while I had not wanted to fail, ego also insisted that I was doing nothing wrong. That it was all out of my control.
I had tried everything. Lord I had tried.
And yet I hadn’t. I just liked to say I did. Though, to be fair, I did try many things, but none of them addressed the main causes of my failure.
No Point
The thing was, while I was in this state of mind, I could not see past it.
This is an important thing to understand because, for so many, they will see no point in working to change their Belief System. They will not see what difference it will make.
Believe me, though, it will make a difference.
Next entry, we look at the do’s and don’ts for creating your new Belief System.