83 – What Is It Like Being The Phoenix?

Drawing by Mari

Thoughts and Feelings

With 2019 around the corner, I thought it might be time for some self-reflection.

This is going to be very long, but if you want to know the thoughts and feelings of a Phoenix, then read on.

This may also be somewhat self-indulgent; but I wanted to write it before I start on my next series of entries.

I am going to discuss what it’s like being The Phoenix, along with its frustrations and some of the History.

Saying to someone, “I am The Phoenix Source,” is a major claim. It’s the kind of claim that could land you right in the asylum. At the very least, most cannot comprehend it. Even those who claim to be enlightened.

Those who know who I am, know it’s true. I’ve yet to meet someone who has told me that I am not who I claim to be.

There was one interesting incident back in 2014, where a demonic walk-in, who was coming to my chat room, was insisting that I was no one. Then one day, out of the blue, he changed his mind. He said he had been wrong and even offered to work with me. I never quite worked out the reason for the turnaround, except that maybe he must have found something to validate it.

Regardless, a majority of people think I’m either deluded or making it up. If this wasn’t the case, I would most certainly get way more attention than I currently do. 

I am technically a god incarnate (though, by no means the only one). So, that alone should be more than enough to get attention.

Does it matter? Well, not really. Though, I do try and get critical information out there, it would be useful if people took more notice. But otherwise, whether people believe or not, does not have any impact on what I do and need to do.

So, What Exactly Is A Phoenix Anyway?

Google the word “Phoenix” and you’ll get approximately 182 million results. The word and name has been used so prolifically that, in a way, it’s ceased to have any real meaning.

Yet, in all those results, you’d be hard pressed to find exactly what a Phoenix actually is. It also doesn’t help that there’s a city called Phoenix and many others use that name. Add to that, the fact that it’s a common trope used in fantasy games and stories, and finding information is almost impossible.

This is both fascinating and frustrating to me. It’s not like I can tell people: Hey, I’m The Phoenix Source, and the current holder of The Phoenix title. Here’s what the real story is.

Over the years, I’ve contacted a lot of high and low-profile people out there and few, if any, have yet to respond to me.  The ones who do (which I can number on one hand) tell me their version of what a Phoenix is, which is so far off base, it’s almost comical.

How Many Phoenii, Anyway?

There are certainly more Phoenii out there than you might believe.

Omen once said that there were around 20 in total. The number seems low, though, and I can’t verify if that is correct.

I believe that most just don’t recognize them. In fact, most don’t even know they are of the Phoenix energy. However, there is a look to them and they have similar personality traits. (And no, they don’t look anything like Jean Grey of the X-Men, though that would be amazing!)

Personally, it’s frustrating to me to have this knowledge and not be able to act on it. Even though it’s been proven time and time again, beyond any doubt, that I am The Phoenix and its Source, few will believe it. Few will accept that such a thing is possible.

The ones who do recognize it, though, are already powers in their own right.

This will be one of those things that History will eventually show to be true. By the time that happens, I’ll be long gone in this form.

The point is, I am the Phoenix Energy personified. My Soul Children and their descendants, all carry that same energy.

The Myth

It’s an interesting fact that nearly everyone I’ve met loves the Phoenix. Many have taken on the name because they feel it inspires them. Most also know the myth.

Every 500 or 1,500 years, (depending on the Source), the Phoenix, a bird that is essentially immortal, builds a pyre, is consumed in flames and from the ashes a new egg is produced, giving birth to a new phoenix. Only one phoenix ever exists at one time and has appeared in many different cultures, at many different times, under many different names.

Now, I can’t claim to have a memory of being consumed in flames to be reborn. According to others, I am already a being of fire when seen in the astral.

This was confirmed by Omen, who often interacted with me on the Phoenix level. This is why his Soul Drawing for me is a being of fire. Sometimes he would ask me to tone down my light because I was too bright.

He once even made a derisive comment about me being fire.

He was on a rant about how he wanted to break me and said: …and you get a chance to mull the futility of it all over and… do whatever it is you walking fireballs do.

He also described my energy as tasting like soda pop that gives you a high, but left you wanting more. He said it was addictive.

Seals

I remember once I removed a couple of seals that keep my power in check.

These kind of seals are energy based and placed on energy centres like your chakra. Their purpose is to dampen down the amount of power that your soul is capable of producing.

Too much energy, and you stand a real risk of burning out the nerves and causing some real damage to both body and mind.

This is what happens to people who raise their kundalini without preparation, or before they are ready. In most cases, it will drive them insane. It is an extremely irresponsible thing to encourage someone to do this without knowing what you are doing. And if you do know what you are doing, you will generally understand that the kundalini energy will rise in its own time, of its own accord, when everything is ready and in place.

I’ve been aware of my seals for a long time. I’ve been gradually removing them as needed. From what I can tell, I’ve got around 50 or so seals on me and about 19 have been removed.

For some reason, I decided that one morning, I was going to remove a couple more. I never mentioned that I do this to anyone. I mean, why would you? Normally, I remove a quarter or half. But on this day, I removed two instead.

A couple of hours later, Omen came online and said: You smell like burning and not the good kind. So, I put the seals back on as this clearly was not a good thing. That fixed the problem.

Just the Facts

So, what are the facts of the Phoenix?

This is not an easy question to answer. It’s like, so, what are the facts of being a human? You can only give so much information.

But I will do what I can to explain.

• Indeed, we can be considered birds, as that is the shape our being often takes on when it’s not in human form.
• We are made from primal fire. It is the Energy of the Universe.
• There are more than one of us. In fact, there are many. However, the actual title of The Phoenix is only held by one being at a time. Right now, it’s me.
• Eggs are one of the ways that we begat children. This is not uncommon in the astral world as they are a representation of the energy that creates new energy.
• The gods Horus the Elder, Nephthys, Thoth, Osiris and Seth were Phoenii.
• We are notoriously hard to kill.
• We are fiendishly hard to capture, bind or enslave.
• We are deadly when backed into a corner.
• We have the power to heal, resurrect or rebirth.
• The Phoenix energy was part of the Christ consciousness. It is the energy that allowed Christ to heal. We were there during the time of Yeshua. Curiously, this reference was removed at some point. You can make of that what you want. Following the lines to its logical conclusion, will certainly give some pause for thought.
• Our energy has been sought after by many others. I suspect it’s because it has the power to resurrect, but it can make a very potent weapon in the wrong hands. It can also allow access to areas that are otherwise forbidden.

On that point, whenever I am negotiating a deal, I will often use giving a gift of my energy as part of the payment. It’s what I used to buy Omen and it’s what I use when I need to free other beings, as I tend to do from time to time.

Darkness

Phoenii tend to have issues with their weight and health. The energy both renews and destroys the body, simultaneously. I have come back from the brink of death many times.

Currently, I am the holder of The Phoenix title. I recall that at one point, it was held by the god, Seth, but he has other duties now. No one has stepped up whom the Universe deems worthy of having that title passed onto them.

A Being, who sometimes went by the name of Universal Light, (hereafter referred to as UL,) once had a chat with Seth about me in my chat room. I’ve asked for permission to quote it here because it helps explain who I am. He began by discussing his current status.

UL– …But I had so much potential, they wanted to find where I fit. I’m at the top actually. I know everything. This is what I learned waking up spiritually.

Seth – Is that how you know Gary?

UL– Yes. That’s how I knew who he was and knew he was telling the truth.

Seth – Is he known at all?

UL– By whom. In the Illuminati?

Seth – In general, I guess. Many seem to know of him.

UL– Only top tier people know he’s the universe’s phoenix. Anything below is just: Eh yeah you don’t know much keep quiet.

He’s known. Even outside of this verse into the other verses. He goes everywhere. It’s not fun trying to find him. He hides really well.

God showed him more than a couple tricks.

Seth – LMAO. He’s had that role for a long time. I’m sure you learn a trick or two.

UL– You have no idea. My specialty is bringing down universes if the people aren’t acting right and are about to riot rebel or get into knowledge there (sic) not supposed to. I can bring the house down.

Seth – I bet. It’s just interesting to hear someone else know of Gary. That’s all.

UL– He’s a bit of an ass when he’s defending himself but it works for him. Like lifesaving.

Seth – An ass? How so?

UL– Defending. He doesn’t like smooth cool guy way out of it he’s like get back! I’m saving my life you motherfuckers! And he just does it. It’s cool. He’s dependable up to a point of logical reasoning. He’s very logical. He owes it to the universe to be in good shape to help people. He has certain ways he moves through the universe.

Seth – How does he owe the universe?

UL– He’s the main phoenix. It’s his responsibility. He’s not gonna make the other phoenixs (sic) do it. That’d be bad. He doesn’t do that.

Seth – What’s wrong with the other phoenixes?

UL– They’re not broke. They’re just not built for his job.

What I find intriguing are the comments on how I defend myself. Albeit; it’s absolutely correct. It’s also something I’ve never mentioned to anyone. The information he had on me was accurate to my own experiences in my Mind Travels. He certainly has not been the only one to bring it up.

Questions

The point of this entry is to make an official record of some kind. Moreover, to try and explain what it’s like to be The Phoenix Source. So, let’s answer a few questions some may have.

Do I Enjoy It?

No. It’s depressing, frustrating and I must abide by Universal protocol and laws, lest I corrupt myself and the energy. It took an enormous amount of work and self-discipline to get to this point. We are talking decades here. (Which is another reason why I find people who whine that things aren’t changing in a couple of months, to be rather frivolous. I think to myself, I’m glad you don’t have to do what I do.)

Is It Fun?

No. It’s a lot of hard work and watching your back all the time. I’ve been attacked and betrayed more times than I can recall. It’s also very draining and depressing. Doubly so when you know people are looking for you, and calling upon you, yet you can’t just tell them who you are. It’s an irony.

Would I Give It Up?

I’ve tried in the past. It doesn’t work. I’ve actively resisted this path at times, but I’ve found I have no choice. Does it violate my free will? Not quite. It’s more a matter of, if I am not doing this job, then I have no reason to be here.

Having said that, I do this willingly, because I know I am making a difference. I know that, even though a majority of people are not aware what I’ve accomplished, they are still affected on some levels. It’s how its always been and will continue to be.

Why Not Start a Cult?

I could not think of a worse thing to do. I do not want a bunch of people following me blindly. I’m here to give people back their power and help them understand what is going on. In addition, I do not wish to create a following that advocates for me; thinking they are elite because they are “in the loop.”

Many have accused me of creating a cult. To those people, I say: If I have, then I’m doing a bad job of it. I get little in return, have no real following, and my life is certainly no easier. Maybe people should look up the definition of what a cult actually is before they claim such things.

So, What Do I Want From Others?

It’s pretty simple really. If something resonates with you, share it. Let others know. They don’t have to believe it, but the more information that is out there, the more they can make Informed Decisions.

Help me to educate this World. Help me to give people their power back. Help me in showing the World that all this hate, judgement, anger and desire for revenge is only hurting everyone.

This World needs help. It needs Healing. From all indications, major things are coming and those events are closer than we think. There is still time to make a difference. Let’s not wait till it’s too late.

Together, let’s make a positive difference for our World.

See you next year.

Next:  End Game?